Black Lovet

Nerdy nerdy witchy witch

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Today is the 3rd day since Nenek passed away and there was a prayer session, a makan session and a sprucing/cleaning up session.

My mind has been a mess of late with so many things happening and so little time to really absorb all of it.

Its like standing in the eye of a cyclone and not knowing where to look or what to do.

I’ve not really gone back to my home for months. I’ve not really been able to just be myself.

Last month was spent fasting and trying to do good mentally and physically. After that was the celebrations. Now I’m going through granny’s death.

I don’t show it, I don’t say it but I feel it and I’m tired.

For once since my journey back from Munich, do I feel like I’m ready for another 6 months away….

Some people may take it that I indulge in Anti social behaviour, but that’s far from the truth. My job is like a damn PR/Marketing/ Part time Design job. Juggling my personal and work has been a true bitch. I swear. There is no line to divide my personal and work time. Its always overlapping. My friends, you know what the hell I am taking about.

Enough about me. I’m sad. I cancelled a gathering with some of my sweetest frens this weekend…. I cancelled any work plans….All I have the strength to do is to go back to my home and see my mom and dad and my sis…. and maybe my brother. I just want to walk around bra- less and I want to sit like a guy. I wana scold my sister and listen to my dad ramble on about his gazillion business propositions.

I want to feel alive. DAMN IT……….. I just wana scream my lungs out and fall into a bed of cotton and fall into a beautiful sleep and….. I dunno…

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LEt’s PUMP some Happiness into this unhappy post:

1) last week b4 all the sad news came about …. Sports Day:

Me looking like crap… I just climbed a ROCK inflatable thingy K !

WANT SOME EVIDENCE?

Tying my hair & Freaking OUT!

OMG what did I get myself into? Looking around for the person who got me into this..

OMG, I can actually pull myself up… I didn’t know I had a fan base watching me….. hahaha

My butt was the BUTT of JOkes…..

There were 4 GROUPS taking part in this competition. I was the only girl. MY TEAM WON K!

YEA … We had fun Jumping around and acting like MONKEYS!

2) HARI RAYA 2008… This year our photos didnt really turn out so nice… not sure what happened really!

3) When all else fails, grab a coffee…..at MAC DONALDS!

4) In the past few weeks, I managed to Match Make 2 of my friends. Things seem to be going really smoothly right now. They are super into each other.

5) I designed a tissue packet. ITS SO UBER COOL. When I get my hands on the real sample, I’ll post pictures of it up on this blog !!!

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Okie… I feel happier now that I’ve put things into perspective and this blog post had been more therapeutic than I expected it to be.

Sleep Well PeePs ** WINK WINK**

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Everyone shall taste death. And only on the day of resurrection shall you be paid your wages in full. And whoever is removed away from the fire and admitted to paradise, this person is indeed successful. The life of this world is only the enjoyment of deception:” (Quran 3:185), ” Every soul shall have the taste of death “ (Quran 29:57).

Funny how death has been on my mind alot of late.

I’m not being preachy here. 

Mas grandma just passed away.

Before this sad piece of news, I had been planning a nice weekend with my frens coming over for Hari Raya visiting and of course Mas returning from his Indonesia biz trip. I cleared my weekend of work and made sure nothing was going to ruin the fun this weekend.

But life is unpredictable.

We truly have no power over anything.

THE LIFE OF THIS WORLD IS ONLY THE ENJOYMENT OF DECEPTION.

The end of a life is not in our hands. We can only affect the way we spend our lives.

One minute she’s alive and the next she’s gone….. I just can’t grasp this sometimes.

I had just spent the whole month of Ramadan and Hari Raya at Mas’s place and I just came back to my own home today, when I received this sad news.

She always treated me well and fed me and towards the end when she was not mentally sound, she was still kind to me.

I’ll always remember her, miss her and pray for her.

sigh. 

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