Black Lovet

No damn facades.

I am trying to put all that’s in my heart into words.

I think I’ve been trying hard to fit into my current situation. Been trying to feel at home with the people around me. Somehow  no matter what  I do or force myself to think, I still  don’t feel like there’s a lot of things that I can relate to with them and it’s getting rather stressful for me.

I like to be left alone at times and I get a bit too much into my loner zones at times cause I simply don’t get the jokes, like the company and the topic simply bores me.

I ‘ve been thinking about some probable reasons as to why its so hard for me to swing with this group and here’s the list:

1) Differing Background

2) Maybe they are so smart, I cant catch what they are saying

3) They are so efficient at what the do, all i seem to be doing is bugging them

4) We don’t think or speak alike

5) Too many smart people around- everyone thinks in too many layers.. its hard to get a straight answer

Think all my reasons are super similar…

Have I thought that somehow its my personality that puts them off? Yea, I have. Have I though that its my upbringing and my weird ass nature that gets to them, yes I have.

To worsen matters, my other half is in Philippines and will be away for almost 3 weeks sometime in June.

I do a pretty decent job of taking care of myself when he’s not around. But there’s not a hell of a lot of people  I trust in this world.. I have told him many a times before , if he should go before me, I will end up talking to myself a lot and probably end up trusting family and myself.

I have stayed in a foreign land, so very far away, for a year. I can never forget how that land broke me apart and left me to mend myself back together bit by bit…I spoke with a friend after returning from that xenophobic land and she commented that I sounded so different, more matured( aka Boring) , and I sounded like I had grown up… Right now I really wonder what happened to all the strength I mustered in Munich? Right now I really need that strength.

Its pretty quiet in my heart and mind right now, cause all that emotion I have inside is making me numb and absolutely emotionless.

Being an adult is no fun. Who do you trust? You and yourself. That’s who I must learn to trust all over again

There are some bands that are so good on their MTVs but suck live.

Paramore is one of those bands that have a sucky MTV but totally rock live.

This girl’s voice is unbelievable. Its unique, raspy, natural and absolutely raw.

Plus she’s super cute and I think  super attractive!

By the way, I am pissed off and sorely disappointed with Mr David Cook for being such an ass in his song choices during the finale. He deserves to lose. I was vouching for him to win from the very start but he killed his chance . I HATE HIM.

Lets start with Leslie Feist cause she’s so so cool…

I managed to catch Speed Racer.. Its got a cute, cotton candy, super colorful feel to it. I quite enjoyed it as it provided much more substance as compared to Ayat Ayat Cinta.

Mas got a hold of the CLUBMAN in a lovely chocolate brown but unfortunately, the normal shorter version of the COOPER S is still the better drive and looks ways cooler!

This big gigantic green thing is worth 500 Dollars!!

MY CUTEY CUTEY CHINCHILLA “BABY”— Isn’t he the most adorable creature. He loves to take photos.

My other chinchilla ” Nugget” is Baby’s son and he’s shy…We all thought he was a female until his third month. Blame my sister and her eyes…. haha

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Not too long ago my colleagues recommended mineral makeup to me. I was a little hesitant at first but these powder like substances have grown on me. I quite enjoy the huge variety of eye colors plus its cheap and a little goes a long way.

Check out these websites for more info as they do ship to Singapore and its really affordable!  http://www.madminerals.org/ and http://www.everydayminerals.com

Lastly, we went to view some HDBs at Pasir Ris and its really taxing having to make such a high financial decision.

Sigh.. Work starts tomorrow. Sigh..

Lets end with a photo of the CLUBMAN- OH, and my daddy just received an online client for COUNTRY KITCHENS via the web site I did for him. That ROCKS….

I have 2 Lessons from watching this show:

1) DO NOT trust Newspapers movie reviews

2) Bad reviews spread like wildfire.

I learnt in a marketing class I took eons ago that negative word of mouth spreads more rapidly than positive word of mouth. This show is testament to this fact.

Honestly, as a convert I identify very little this show that had such bad moments that made me vomit in my mouth, laugh in my seat and cross my eyes.

Horrible.