Black Lovet

Its kinda weird how people i barely even knew or spoke with, sms me just at the time when i’ve just arrived back in Singapore.
I cant believe the coincidence and i really dun have a clue as to why this guy who has not spoken to me for 2 yrs suddenly sms me to ask how i am and stuff….Another mate of mine also remembered when i was coming back from Munich. Thats really sweet but spooky at the same time!

Moving on to FUnnier stuff, Ravin and Deepa got engaged this past Saturday and there was some cam whoring of us girls and of course the lovely and soon to be bride and groom… I had to leave early unfortunately cause of “work”, so i apparently missed out on Ravin’s speech!… damn…. its rare to even hear him speak!! I wish them a great time together.. being married can be TOns of Fun..

Sweetie Sijia below let me do her makeup and it was such FUN. I’m shallow, so What?!

Its good seeing old friends…
I’m finally having some good company and its really nice!

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Aside from all this fun, i have been so busy, its been unreal.
Cleaning up both his and my room has been absolutely draining and since Hari Raya is coming soon, i forsee this weekend to be packed with heavy duty scrubbing. Thankfully, my family’s chinese. But i have slaved enough over my room, to get it looking neat and presentable….I’m also in need of a job and to be perfectly honest i cant see a bright light guiding me towards anything.
Going in the path of a makeup person, implies a lower pay and less stability whereas a desk job might offer a higher pay and not so many TSK TSK from the aunties, uncles and parents….They tell me to do whatever i want but i can hear their minds going(” makeup artist/beauty related anything is such a no brain job”)…

Mas and I managed to squeeze some time today to watch Royston Tan’s latest movie, 881.I like to support talented locals and having watched and loved 15 by Royston Tan, i was pretty excited to watch his latest production of a Getai Musical. Contrary to the promo shot for 881, the lead actresses are not May and Choy but these two really normal looking chinese actresses. Their acting was flawless and their Getai getups and makeup was to die for… loved the colors and the cinematography. The plot was a little draggy and sometimes too long drawn but it was an interesting movie nevertheless and Royston Tan must be one of this little islands most outstanding producers!
Anyhow, i still rank 15 much higher than 881…( anyone wonders why his movies titles are like Numbers??)

Tasks ahead
1) Find a job
2) Get worker to fix mas curtains
3) Fix my damn digicam
4) Design my dad’s website( My parents have been terrific ever since i came home…luv them to bits)
5) Do Tony’s work
6) Meet up with frens who i havent seen forever!

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I had a dream about getting shot.

It wasnt scary. It wasnt slow. I didnt feel anything.
I woke up and then i didnt know what the hell it meant.

I told gerry abt it and heres what she told me:
ps: the dream you have is a wonderful dream. Death, as you said, is your intuitive goddess, is a transition, a new phrase in life awaits you! Letting go of precious things can be tough, but letting go of the old allows new stuff to fill in. And you may be in for a pleasant surprise So go grab some horns and kick ass!!!!!

Its time to let go..

Theres been too many lows in the space of time i have been back and i just cant deal with being blue anymore.

Hubby is changing. Things are different. Life is moving so much faster.

I didnt exactly tell gerry all the specifics of whats going on, but she understood me and i understood her.
In the end, all i needed was to talk to her and know that theres someone out there going through the exact stuff as me.
Funny how, despite the fights we have had, the silence we had to bear and the distance we opted for, we still understand each other and shes really the sweetest girl i have ever known.
Shes like a little girl who holds my hand and tells me everything is okay and she loves me no matter what kinda shit i am made up of. Men can let you down, parents wont seem to understand, but the best friend u had and lost and found again, can help to ease your broken heart.

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2 things that irk me.

Windows Vista and Dr skTan

I cant work on anything much using this damn windows vista.
I cant even trust that this post will save in time.

Dr sk Tan. I went to him cause of his fantastic publicity and marketing skills and i must say, he is no good.
If u want to get lectured or u want to feel like only ppl with pock holes deserve to be treated, than hes ur man. Other than that, dont waste ur money. A family doctor will make a better derm any day. He’ll probably tell u something like, ur skin is fine, use sunblock, cure ur acne than come back to me… His medicine, is tiny and it made me break out more..

Marketing sure can suck ppl like me into believing crappy derms are good.

I think the weather isnt great and heres a list of to do chores

- get my camera fixed
- help clean mas room when all the new furniture comes in
- Go to ikea, to buy plates and stuff for my kitchen. As well as pillows for mo mo
- find a job( BOO) in the US perhaps ??? hahaha.. fat chance?
- fix my poor nose. (its like i have sinusitis round the clock here…)
- take a leisurely walk or cycle to calm my nerves

Why does it feel that i am never going to be able to make up for a yr of lost time?
I think its pointless to even start right now.
No i dont need sympathy or a listening ear.
I just need some space to breathe.

Mas and i havent been having the greatest time since we came back too…
We used to spend every night chatting and laughing b4 falling off to la la land…nowadays, we just fall asleep without a word or smile.

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Every so often i look into the skyline, habitually thinking about the greens and blue sky and i realise i am no longer there.
I am back here and things are proving to be more stressful than not.

I have to get a job,
i have to clean both our rooms
i have to meet up with family
i have to be nice and friendly
i have to be okay with this maddening rush

Personally, i’ve been feeling so blue and depressed.
I know theres tons to be thankful for but right now i just want the sea to swallow me up and i want to forget everything. I want to just cast away all these doubts and worries and i want to be free from all this.
Growing up sucks and i am really hating every minute right now.

On a much brighter note, my brother’s band Caracal is doing the opening for Funeral for a Friend this coming saturday!! Wow…He’s been featured in the newspapers and on magazines and radio and i think things are really looking good for his punk rock band…

I want to post so many photos of so many random things but i am just too tired.

Good luck everyone in keeping sane and staying happy…

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i lost alot of my hp numbers during the transferring of it… argh.. ppl can msg me ur hp nos?

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